"My car drove over a nail, and I got a flat tire," comments customer.
"Well, we're sorry for the incident, but it's something out of our control."
Makes several aggressive comments.
While we understand the reason for the unpleasant mood and attitude, we feel you're directing it at the wrong person.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Twelve Checks for One Citation
Ah, the famous two dollar ticket for reversing into a parking spot. That famous ticket which is waived for the first offense.
And this is how one customer paid for it:
Twelve Checks for 1 cent, 2 cent, 3 cents and so on...
On the memo line of the checks: "Thanks for keeping the streets safe," "Looks like I got a parking ticket," "Share the Laugh," "Ha ha ha" etc.
The ticket was voided and the checks were all sent back.
And this is how one customer paid for it:
Twelve Checks for 1 cent, 2 cent, 3 cents and so on...
On the memo line of the checks: "Thanks for keeping the streets safe," "Looks like I got a parking ticket," "Share the Laugh," "Ha ha ha" etc.
The ticket was voided and the checks were all sent back.
Friday, September 24, 2010
The Case against Plain Rudeness
Being rude or blatantly aggressive is a big no-no. You make us want to get to get rid of you as soon as possible. On the other hand, a nice personality, a strong (yet polite) case against a parking ticket is impressive, and we would be more willing to help you out.
Comment heard from a disgruntled customer: "I think it's ridiculous that students get more parking places compared to employees." Completely untrue, by the way.
Comment made by an employee once customer is out of earshot. "It's because of the students you have a job here."
We would love to make some clever and bitingly witty remark too. But why bother? The less conversation, the sooner you leave.
In conclusion, here's Meter Maid's take on personalities. Give them a parking ticket and see how they react.
Comment heard from a disgruntled customer: "I think it's ridiculous that students get more parking places compared to employees." Completely untrue, by the way.
Comment made by an employee once customer is out of earshot. "It's because of the students you have a job here."
We would love to make some clever and bitingly witty remark too. But why bother? The less conversation, the sooner you leave.
In conclusion, here's Meter Maid's take on personalities. Give them a parking ticket and see how they react.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Patience is Always Appreciated
Repeatedly banging on the counter top, ringing the bell, and calling out is just plain rude.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Tsk, tsk...Forged permit
Student approaches the counter. She is holding a five day permit card, and, gesturing to the second line, she says. "I forgot today was the 21st of September, I thought it was the 20th, so I corrected it out."
"Well, you're not really supposed to correct a line on it if you make a mistake. You need to cross it off. If not, the officers will think you're reusing that line."
(The matter is explained in an in depth manner)
"Well, I think (amount) is a little ridiculous for a student."
Officer and Manager are walking by the counter and hear the sentence.
"We think it's a pretty reasonable amount for stealing."
Student's mouth drops open.
"You were reusing the permit. When I gave the ticket, only the first line was filled out, and it had been reused three time. We have a photo of it. Do you want to see the photo?" questions Officer.
"No," student quickly walks off.
The photo is uploaded. The second line is blank, and the first line is rewritten in pencil, pink, and finally black.
"Well, you're not really supposed to correct a line on it if you make a mistake. You need to cross it off. If not, the officers will think you're reusing that line."
(The matter is explained in an in depth manner)
"Well, I think (amount) is a little ridiculous for a student."
Officer and Manager are walking by the counter and hear the sentence.
"We think it's a pretty reasonable amount for stealing."
Student's mouth drops open.
"You were reusing the permit. When I gave the ticket, only the first line was filled out, and it had been reused three time. We have a photo of it. Do you want to see the photo?" questions Officer.
"No," student quickly walks off.
The photo is uploaded. The second line is blank, and the first line is rewritten in pencil, pink, and finally black.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Favorites Sentences from Today
"Well, I think it's unfair commuters have to pay for parking. Residents live on campus and can just walk to their classes."
"I paid (amount) for this permit, and I could not find any parking. This was the only parking spot that I found, and I'm not paying this ticket!"
"So this is a list of all the tickets I owe? Can't you give me a better notice? I mean how do I know if these tickets are mine or not? You could be giving a list of any old ticket with an outstanding payment."
"I paid (amount) for this permit, and I could not find any parking. This was the only parking spot that I found, and I'm not paying this ticket!"
"So this is a list of all the tickets I owe? Can't you give me a better notice? I mean how do I know if these tickets are mine or not? You could be giving a list of any old ticket with an outstanding payment."
Friday, September 17, 2010
If I just ignore them, then maybe my tickets will go away.
What a neat idea! Maybe that's what the guy - the guy who hasn't paid for a permit and has five outstanding tickets - is thinking.
A call received from a student who was issued a ticket for parking in a closed, commuter lot after midnight.
"I had some stuff to drop off at my room. I didn't want to move my car because it was late, and I felt unsafe. But I didn't want to use the campus safe walk program either."
And, therefore, you got a ticket.
A call received from a student who was issued a ticket for parking in a closed, commuter lot after midnight.
"I had some stuff to drop off at my room. I didn't want to move my car because it was late, and I felt unsafe. But I didn't want to use the campus safe walk program either."
And, therefore, you got a ticket.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The Issue of Free Parking and Internships
An unpaid intern who accepted a position with a department realizes he needs to pay for parking.
"Well, we won't be able to offer you free parking. We realize you are an unpaid intern, but, in our eyes, all customers are equal. If I were you, I would talk to the department that hired you and see if they'll be willing to pay for your parking permit."
Intern goes over to department and raises the question. Department refuses to pay. (Aren't they stingy?)
Intern comes back to Parking Services and demands free parking. I'm sorry, but that is not an option.
Intern is not happy.
But think about it. If the department refuses to pay for your parking permit, then why should we?
"Well, we won't be able to offer you free parking. We realize you are an unpaid intern, but, in our eyes, all customers are equal. If I were you, I would talk to the department that hired you and see if they'll be willing to pay for your parking permit."
Intern goes over to department and raises the question. Department refuses to pay. (Aren't they stingy?)
Intern comes back to Parking Services and demands free parking. I'm sorry, but that is not an option.
Intern is not happy.
But think about it. If the department refuses to pay for your parking permit, then why should we?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Update on the Stolen Permit
Trots down to the office.
No questions, no comments, willingly agrees to pay the fees.
Manager asks: "So, we need to know the name of the friend who sold you this permit?"
"Uummm...nobody really sold it to me. I found it...on the ground."
The above sentence is presented to you without any further comments. The validity of the statement will be left to the reader's judgement.
"But when you called you said that a friend sold it to you..."
"Yeah...well...he did, and then he left school....arroiidll aidsdldiod adioidfklsdfo...."
No questions, no comments, willingly agrees to pay the fees.
Manager asks: "So, we need to know the name of the friend who sold you this permit?"
"Uummm...nobody really sold it to me. I found it...on the ground."
The above sentence is presented to you without any further comments. The validity of the statement will be left to the reader's judgement.
"But when you called you said that a friend sold it to you..."
"Yeah...well...he did, and then he left school....arroiidll aidsdldiod adioidfklsdfo...."
Monday, September 13, 2010
"Oh, I'm sorry. This parking spot's taken."
Today's memorable moments:
First up, the guy who had his car towed.
"Oh, that permit. Well, a friend sold it to me for $50."
Manager: "Well, we'll be interested to know who your friend is."
....No comment.
"How much do I owe?"
Manager names amount.
"Oh, God."
Next up. The guy who blocked a lady from parking in a spot by standing in the middle of it and saying he was saving it for his friend. Welcome to the dog-eat-dog world of parking.
Last. A permit holder who decides he's going to compensate for his parking ticket by stealing $11 worth of cakes from the kitchens. Good luck to you mate.
First up, the guy who had his car towed.
"Oh, that permit. Well, a friend sold it to me for $50."
Manager: "Well, we'll be interested to know who your friend is."
....No comment.
"How much do I owe?"
Manager names amount.
"Oh, God."
Next up. The guy who blocked a lady from parking in a spot by standing in the middle of it and saying he was saving it for his friend. Welcome to the dog-eat-dog world of parking.
Last. A permit holder who decides he's going to compensate for his parking ticket by stealing $11 worth of cakes from the kitchens. Good luck to you mate.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Why do you want to scare the freshies?
To the belligerent, in-your-face person who repeatedly scared a new freshman into thinking that they'll get a parking ticket with every turn of the wheel:
You are not cool.
While explaining where a new freshman should park with a commuter student permit. "Don't park in reserved, restricted, or handicapped spaces."
Looks at me as if I'm demented.
"Well, isn't that obvious?"
I'm glad you think so. Unfortunately, you aren't a part of the majority.
"I'd like to leave my car parked in a commuter lot for the night. I'll be getting transport to a (event), and the shuttle will pick (the riders) from there."
"Well, unfortunately, that lot closes at midnight. But you can certainly leave your car in the parking ramp, and it's only a short distance away."
"No, no. That's not going to work. I want to leave my car in this parking lot."
Transfers call to to Manager. Same conversation is repeated. An unhappy person demands to go higher up on the hierarchy.
"You mean you can't relax the rules for one night? I mean it's only one night! It's not like I want to park there every night!"
Who. Are. You. And why should we bend the rules for you?
You are not cool.
While explaining where a new freshman should park with a commuter student permit. "Don't park in reserved, restricted, or handicapped spaces."
Looks at me as if I'm demented.
"Well, isn't that obvious?"
I'm glad you think so. Unfortunately, you aren't a part of the majority.
"I'd like to leave my car parked in a commuter lot for the night. I'll be getting transport to a (event), and the shuttle will pick (the riders) from there."
"Well, unfortunately, that lot closes at midnight. But you can certainly leave your car in the parking ramp, and it's only a short distance away."
"No, no. That's not going to work. I want to leave my car in this parking lot."
Transfers call to to Manager. Same conversation is repeated. An unhappy person demands to go higher up on the hierarchy.
"You mean you can't relax the rules for one night? I mean it's only one night! It's not like I want to park there every night!"
Who. Are. You. And why should we bend the rules for you?
Friday, September 10, 2010
Other notable events
A phone call that lasted around five, six minutes, give or take a few seconds.
"I keep telling you that there was a sign that said 'free parking' when we pulled into the parking lot."
Manager: "There's no free parking on this campus, and we certainly don't have signs like that up in our parking lots.
"It said 'free parking.'" Refuses to change position, refuses to budge, is adament for the remainder of the time.
"In fact, I'll ask my husband about it. (name), what did the sign say?"
"It said 'visitor parking.'"
Manager: "Well, that's true. The sign does say 'visitor parking' but it doesn't say 'free parking.'"
Lady on other line finally understands that visitor does not mean free. "I apologize for the confusion." And hangs up.
Lifted from an appeal:
"...if you don't do a better job at doing what you're supposed to do, I plan on making a complaint to the Chancellor and maybe to some local news channels."
You do that. Yawn.
Phone call Number Two
"My son used my car the other day, and he got a ticket on the car. My son has a permit, and he needed to use my car for a few days. I think it's completely ridiculous that you gave my car a ticket - when he had a permit - and I refuse to pay it."
This was said in a complete rush.
"Okay," says Meter maid as she attempts to figure out the situation. "So your son has a permit?"
"Yes, but it's stuck on his window. He took his car in for repairs and used mine. I think it's completely ridiculous that you gave my car a ticket. I mean don't other people find themselves in this situation where they need to use a different car for some time?"
"Yes, but in that case they need to either get a temporary permit from us or call us and have the vehicle cleared for the day. If an officer sees a vehicle without a permit on campus, they need to cite it."
"But my son has a permit."
I know that. You've been repeating that for the past minute.
"But the problem is that the permit was not displayed. If a permit is not displayed on a vehicle, we need to ticket it. And that's why you got the ticket."
"Well, I think it's completely ridiculous."
Yeah, I know that too. You've said that same sentence for the past two minutes.
"Well, what the ticket was for? What was the violation on it?"
"Violation? What's that?"
"Does the ticket say permit not displayed?"
"Yeah."
"Alright then. And can I have the citation number at the top?"
"You won't me to read the whole thing?"
Well, if that doesn't work for you, just send it over to me telepathetically.
"Yes."
...
"Well, the good news is that we give one free-b 'permit not displayed' citation each year. Your son's permit information has not been updated in our computers, but, if he gives us a call back with the permit number and the citation, we'll void that ticket for him."
"Well, my son's in class, so when's he supposed to call you?"
Is that actually a question? So he never leaves class? He stays cocooned up in the academic buildings like some butterfly waiting to emerge with a BS in hand?
"I keep telling you that there was a sign that said 'free parking' when we pulled into the parking lot."
Manager: "There's no free parking on this campus, and we certainly don't have signs like that up in our parking lots.
"It said 'free parking.'" Refuses to change position, refuses to budge, is adament for the remainder of the time.
"In fact, I'll ask my husband about it. (name), what did the sign say?"
"It said 'visitor parking.'"
Manager: "Well, that's true. The sign does say 'visitor parking' but it doesn't say 'free parking.'"
Lady on other line finally understands that visitor does not mean free. "I apologize for the confusion." And hangs up.
Lifted from an appeal:
"...if you don't do a better job at doing what you're supposed to do, I plan on making a complaint to the Chancellor and maybe to some local news channels."
You do that. Yawn.
Phone call Number Two
"My son used my car the other day, and he got a ticket on the car. My son has a permit, and he needed to use my car for a few days. I think it's completely ridiculous that you gave my car a ticket - when he had a permit - and I refuse to pay it."
This was said in a complete rush.
"Okay," says Meter maid as she attempts to figure out the situation. "So your son has a permit?"
"Yes, but it's stuck on his window. He took his car in for repairs and used mine. I think it's completely ridiculous that you gave my car a ticket. I mean don't other people find themselves in this situation where they need to use a different car for some time?"
"Yes, but in that case they need to either get a temporary permit from us or call us and have the vehicle cleared for the day. If an officer sees a vehicle without a permit on campus, they need to cite it."
"But my son has a permit."
I know that. You've been repeating that for the past minute.
"But the problem is that the permit was not displayed. If a permit is not displayed on a vehicle, we need to ticket it. And that's why you got the ticket."
"Well, I think it's completely ridiculous."
Yeah, I know that too. You've said that same sentence for the past two minutes.
"Well, what the ticket was for? What was the violation on it?"
"Violation? What's that?"
"Does the ticket say permit not displayed?"
"Yeah."
"Alright then. And can I have the citation number at the top?"
"You won't me to read the whole thing?"
Well, if that doesn't work for you, just send it over to me telepathetically.
"Yes."
...
"Well, the good news is that we give one free-b 'permit not displayed' citation each year. Your son's permit information has not been updated in our computers, but, if he gives us a call back with the permit number and the citation, we'll void that ticket for him."
"Well, my son's in class, so when's he supposed to call you?"
Is that actually a question? So he never leaves class? He stays cocooned up in the academic buildings like some butterfly waiting to emerge with a BS in hand?
Stolen Permit!
Now that the permits are on the outside of the window, they are more susceptible to being stolen and placed on the thief's car.
It's only been the first week, and we already have two stolen permits.
And we nabbed the first guy today!
Since it's friday, it's likely he won't go to his car until late in the afternoon.
Will keep you updated on any new developments.
It's only been the first week, and we already have two stolen permits.
And we nabbed the first guy today!
Since it's friday, it's likely he won't go to his car until late in the afternoon.
Will keep you updated on any new developments.
You made me miss my cousin's wedding!
So customer comes along one day.
"I got a notice from the DMV saying that I have an unpaid citation and that my plates were suspended."
Meter maid looks up the license plate and agrees with the statement.
"So...I guess you don't have free parking here."
Well, since you got a ticket - apparently not.
"You don't have any one time leniences?"
"Once the ticket has been suspended, no."
"So, how much do I owe you?"
Names amount under customer name.
"Yeah but on this form, it says that I owe a lot less than that." Points to notice letter.
"Well, if you have more than one outstanding citation, the deparment will only suspend one out of courtesy. For every citation that is suspended, we add another ten dollars."
"Out of courtesy? Ha, ha, ha," snorts. "Out of courtesy. HA HA HA HA HA!"
Your barely veiled sarcasm is not lost on us.
"Well, I'm not paying the tickets."
Goes away.
Fine, then don't. Once you're pulled over by a cop...
Two days later...
He comes back and explains the history behind the citations. He had forgotten about them and had been pulled over on the way to his cousin's wedding. And all because of some stupid parking tickets, the best man was late to the wedding.
I sympathize with the situation. And I sympathize with the bride. But let me get this straight. Basically, you're blaming us for missing your cousin's wedding? It's our fault that you parked illegally on campus? And it's our fault that you decided not to pay the tickets? And it's our fault that you got pulled over for not paying them? And it's our fault that you were late?
The dog ate my homework.
"I got a notice from the DMV saying that I have an unpaid citation and that my plates were suspended."
Meter maid looks up the license plate and agrees with the statement.
"So...I guess you don't have free parking here."
Well, since you got a ticket - apparently not.
"You don't have any one time leniences?"
"Once the ticket has been suspended, no."
"So, how much do I owe you?"
Names amount under customer name.
"Yeah but on this form, it says that I owe a lot less than that." Points to notice letter.
"Well, if you have more than one outstanding citation, the deparment will only suspend one out of courtesy. For every citation that is suspended, we add another ten dollars."
"Out of courtesy? Ha, ha, ha," snorts. "Out of courtesy. HA HA HA HA HA!"
Your barely veiled sarcasm is not lost on us.
"Well, I'm not paying the tickets."
Goes away.
Fine, then don't. Once you're pulled over by a cop...
Two days later...
He comes back and explains the history behind the citations. He had forgotten about them and had been pulled over on the way to his cousin's wedding. And all because of some stupid parking tickets, the best man was late to the wedding.
I sympathize with the situation. And I sympathize with the bride. But let me get this straight. Basically, you're blaming us for missing your cousin's wedding? It's our fault that you parked illegally on campus? And it's our fault that you decided not to pay the tickets? And it's our fault that you got pulled over for not paying them? And it's our fault that you were late?
The dog ate my homework.
Back from the Summer for a whole new school year
An update on the permits:
While nothing has really changed in terms of where people can park, the office decided that this year - at least - the permits would be on the outside of the car window. The action prompted several customers to voice their opinon:
The most common comment: "Why?"
"It makes it easier for the officers to see the permit. We've had a lot of trouble with tinted windows in the past."
"What if someone steals it?"
"Then we'll replace it."
Customer departs with a skeptical glance. After all, how can you really trust a profit-making department to keep their word?
"So I can just put it over my old permit."
"You betcha," says Mama Grizzly.
Comment heard by a departing customer: "Oh, someone must have ordered the permits wrong this year. That's why they have to go on the outside."
You've got to be kidding me. You think that we'll make a mistake on the order of several thousand permits?
Now, even if we have a nice diagram on the back of the permit telling the person exactly where and how the permit should be applied, there's always someone who...wait for it...wait for it.. goes and puts it on the back windshied. That's right - even if there's a picture on the BACK OF THE PERMIT!
Free parking does not mean that you can leave your vehicle in a handicapped spot!
It's so strange to realize how many people leave their car for FIVE minutes - just five - no less, no more - and come back to their car to find a ticket on it.
"I was only gone for five minutes!" says the complainer. "You and a lot of other people," thinks the listener.
While nothing has really changed in terms of where people can park, the office decided that this year - at least - the permits would be on the outside of the car window. The action prompted several customers to voice their opinon:
The most common comment: "Why?"
"It makes it easier for the officers to see the permit. We've had a lot of trouble with tinted windows in the past."
"What if someone steals it?"
"Then we'll replace it."
Customer departs with a skeptical glance. After all, how can you really trust a profit-making department to keep their word?
"So I can just put it over my old permit."
"You betcha," says Mama Grizzly.
Comment heard by a departing customer: "Oh, someone must have ordered the permits wrong this year. That's why they have to go on the outside."
You've got to be kidding me. You think that we'll make a mistake on the order of several thousand permits?
Now, even if we have a nice diagram on the back of the permit telling the person exactly where and how the permit should be applied, there's always someone who...wait for it...wait for it.. goes and puts it on the back windshied. That's right - even if there's a picture on the BACK OF THE PERMIT!
Free parking does not mean that you can leave your vehicle in a handicapped spot!
It's so strange to realize how many people leave their car for FIVE minutes - just five - no less, no more - and come back to their car to find a ticket on it.
"I was only gone for five minutes!" says the complainer. "You and a lot of other people," thinks the listener.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Work on It!!!
When you try to erase a line in your five-day permit card and write a new date over it, you are trying to cheat the system.
A conversation between a student and the parking manager:
"I don't understand why I got this ticket."
"Well, you changed the date line on the permit card. That's why you got the ticket."
(Let's shorten it up a little...)
"Are you saying that I tried to do something illegal?"
"Well, in our eyes, erasing and rewriting a different date on the permit card is illegal. In fact, the officers noticed that you hadn't just changed that one line. You also changed the two lines above that."
"That has nothing to do with this ticket! This ticket is for this line only!"
Uh, actually, it does. Because the two lines above it kind of reinforce the fact that you were changing the dates.
Finally, that person ended in a long tirade which basically said the office sucked.
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Work on it!"
A conversation between a student and the parking manager:
"I don't understand why I got this ticket."
"Well, you changed the date line on the permit card. That's why you got the ticket."
(Let's shorten it up a little...)
"Are you saying that I tried to do something illegal?"
"Well, in our eyes, erasing and rewriting a different date on the permit card is illegal. In fact, the officers noticed that you hadn't just changed that one line. You also changed the two lines above that."
"That has nothing to do with this ticket! This ticket is for this line only!"
Uh, actually, it does. Because the two lines above it kind of reinforce the fact that you were changing the dates.
Finally, that person ended in a long tirade which basically said the office sucked.
"I'm sorry you feel that way."
"Work on it!"
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Customer Comments
"So why did I get this ticket?" asks customer as he slams his ticket down on the counter.
"Well, when you park your car, we want you to park head on - that means that you shouldn't make it look like you reversed or pulled all the way through."
"And why do you do that?!?"
"Well, first of all, it's easier for the officers. If all vehicles are parked in the exact same direction, then they'll be able to see the permit when they drive by."
"So, basically, they're lazy."
"It's also a safety hazard for the officers."
"But, basically, they're lazy."
Whatever.
"So what happens once the appeal is heard?"
"A letter regarding the outcome will be mailed to the address that you put down."
"So you're going to send me a letter?"
"Yup."
"An actual letter?"
"Yup."
"Like a piece of paper?"
No, actually, we're going to use the morse code and send smoke signals.
"Well, when you park your car, we want you to park head on - that means that you shouldn't make it look like you reversed or pulled all the way through."
"And why do you do that?!?"
"Well, first of all, it's easier for the officers. If all vehicles are parked in the exact same direction, then they'll be able to see the permit when they drive by."
"So, basically, they're lazy."
"It's also a safety hazard for the officers."
"But, basically, they're lazy."
Whatever.
"So what happens once the appeal is heard?"
"A letter regarding the outcome will be mailed to the address that you put down."
"So you're going to send me a letter?"
"Yup."
"An actual letter?"
"Yup."
"Like a piece of paper?"
No, actually, we're going to use the morse code and send smoke signals.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Is it friday yet?
Ah, Thursday.
“I have a ticket to pay, but, before I pay the ticket, I’d like to talk with the parking manager or your supervisor.”
“Alright.”
Polite and courteous. But not for long.
“I parked in the lot behind (location) at (time), and I got a parking ticket.”
“Okay.”
“But I don’t get it. I mean there were like 50 open spaces, so why did I get a ticket for parking there? It’s not like I was taking up someone’s space or anything.”
“Well, every university member pays for parking. If they pay for parking, why should you be able to park for free?”
“Well, I realize that. But, if there were like 50 opens spaces, it doesn’t mean that I’m taking someone else’s parking space or anything like that. If that was the case, then I’d understand the ticket. But there were plenty of spaces, so why did I get this?”
“It still doesn’t matter. If everyone else is paying for parking, it would be unfair if you got to park for free.”
Next segment:
“I pay tuition, and I pay fees to the schools, so why don’t I receive parking in exchange too?”
“Because the office is not funded by state money. By charging user fees, we are able to maintain our parking lots, clear snow, and provide additional parking whenever possible.”
“Well, you seem to making plenty of money. You’re like a business here. And it’s good money too. I mean you built the parking ramp and everything.”
“The parking ramp was built by taking out bonds. And it will take 15 years to pay them off.”
“Well, all you need to do is hand out some more tickets, and then you’ll be able to pay those bonds off sooner.”
Good deduction, Sherlock. Clap, clap, clap.
First tow:
After nearly two years of working here, I got to meet a tow person for the first time.
Calm, cool, and did not even blink an eye.
Total: More than $500 in parking tickets and $75 for towing expenses.
“I have a ticket to pay, but, before I pay the ticket, I’d like to talk with the parking manager or your supervisor.”
“Alright.”
Polite and courteous. But not for long.
“I parked in the lot behind (location) at (time), and I got a parking ticket.”
“Okay.”
“But I don’t get it. I mean there were like 50 open spaces, so why did I get a ticket for parking there? It’s not like I was taking up someone’s space or anything.”
“Well, every university member pays for parking. If they pay for parking, why should you be able to park for free?”
“Well, I realize that. But, if there were like 50 opens spaces, it doesn’t mean that I’m taking someone else’s parking space or anything like that. If that was the case, then I’d understand the ticket. But there were plenty of spaces, so why did I get this?”
“It still doesn’t matter. If everyone else is paying for parking, it would be unfair if you got to park for free.”
Next segment:
“I pay tuition, and I pay fees to the schools, so why don’t I receive parking in exchange too?”
“Because the office is not funded by state money. By charging user fees, we are able to maintain our parking lots, clear snow, and provide additional parking whenever possible.”
“Well, you seem to making plenty of money. You’re like a business here. And it’s good money too. I mean you built the parking ramp and everything.”
“The parking ramp was built by taking out bonds. And it will take 15 years to pay them off.”
“Well, all you need to do is hand out some more tickets, and then you’ll be able to pay those bonds off sooner.”
Good deduction, Sherlock. Clap, clap, clap.
First tow:
After nearly two years of working here, I got to meet a tow person for the first time.
Calm, cool, and did not even blink an eye.
Total: More than $500 in parking tickets and $75 for towing expenses.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Daily Update
"Robbery!"
"Hating on a player" (How is this related to parking at all?)
You do know that your check goes through us, the Cashier's office, and then finally the bank, right?
A reminder to all blog-readers:
When you sell your car, remember to:
1) Remove the license plates
2) Transfer the title
It doesn't matter how expensive it is, because if you don't, you will regret it.
"Hating on a player" (How is this related to parking at all?)
You do know that your check goes through us, the Cashier's office, and then finally the bank, right?
A reminder to all blog-readers:
When you sell your car, remember to:
1) Remove the license plates
2) Transfer the title
It doesn't matter how expensive it is, because if you don't, you will regret it.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Daily Update
I just got a thirty dollar ticket saying that I was parked in a no parking zone. But, the thing is, there aren't any signs saying that you're not supposed to park here. So how do I know that it's a no parking zone?
Did you park between two yellow lines?
Well, no...but, like I said, there's no sign saying I'm not supposed to park there.
Well, the only legal space that you can park in is between two yellow lines.
But there's no sign here!
Sigh...
Lets look at the comment that my manager suggested. Suggested only. It was not said in actuality.
"There aren't any signs in the middle of the street saying that you can't park there. So will you park in the middle of the street then?"
I left a note on my windshied saying that I forgot my permit. So why did you guys ticket me?
Okay, so you left a note. If all 5000 people leave notes on their car saying that they forgot their permit, do you think we'll accept that? How do we know which ones are legally parked and which ones aren't?
Did you park between two yellow lines?
Well, no...but, like I said, there's no sign saying I'm not supposed to park there.
Well, the only legal space that you can park in is between two yellow lines.
But there's no sign here!
Sigh...
Lets look at the comment that my manager suggested. Suggested only. It was not said in actuality.
"There aren't any signs in the middle of the street saying that you can't park there. So will you park in the middle of the street then?"
I left a note on my windshied saying that I forgot my permit. So why did you guys ticket me?
Okay, so you left a note. If all 5000 people leave notes on their car saying that they forgot their permit, do you think we'll accept that? How do we know which ones are legally parked and which ones aren't?
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Weekly update
I have a complaint about those 2 hour parking spots along the street.
Oh, you do, do you?
Yeah, I just think it's pretty _____ up. I mean, my classes last for around 3 hours, so you can't exactly expect me to leave it in a 2 hours spot and not get a ticket, right?
Following your logic, no.
So, I'm here to complain. I mean I don't care how I do it. I'll complain like this, I'll even talk to the authorities or write to the newspaper. I just want those signs removed. Or at least make sure that the parking limit is extended.
You do, do you? Unfortunately, I'm not feeling sympathetic towards you. But maybe it's because the other 4000 people here pay to park.
Well, just so you know, we don't really ticket along the streets. That's the city's responsibility.
Oh?
Yes. So, if you do want to complain about it, you should go over to the city hall.
And let those people deal with you.
I'm here to complain about parking enforcement.
Okay.
Well, I recently got ticketed while I was parked by the gym. And just the other day, I was walking by it, and I noticed all these cars parked there without any permits and with no tickets written on them.
Well, we do have more than one parking lot. But I assure you that we ticket each and every parking lot.
Well, you're just not doing it properly. I mean I got a ticket. I don't see why those other people aren't getting one.
Well, like I said, the officers all work hard, but it's impossible to be at every parking lot at the same time.
Then, you should hire more people! I just think it's unfair that you guys gave me a ticket, and you let those other people park there for free!
And with that, the customer departs.
You mean you don't have free parking for university events?
No.
So what if someone's parents came over from another school? Do they still have to pay for parking?
Yes.
That's just wrong. You're system is completely messed up.
(Insert ten minutes). During this time, I patiently explain the rationale behind issuing user fees and enforcing parking. And the result?
I still think it's unfair that we have to pay for parking. I mean people who are here for events should get free parking.
OKAY.
HOW DO WE KNOW IF YOU'RE PARKED HERE FOR AN EVENT? DO YOU HAVE A NEON SIGN ON TOP OF YOUR CAR SAYING 'I'M HERE FOR THE BASEBALL GAME, DON'T TICKET ME!'
THERE ARE SO MANY EVENTS GOING ON THIS CAMPUS - AS RURAL AS IT IS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO KEEP TRACK OF EACH OF THEM?
HUH? HUH? HUH?
To the girl who heads straight into the managerial office without even pausing to knock on the door.
I guess you do own the place, don't you?
Oh, you do, do you?
Yeah, I just think it's pretty _____ up. I mean, my classes last for around 3 hours, so you can't exactly expect me to leave it in a 2 hours spot and not get a ticket, right?
Following your logic, no.
So, I'm here to complain. I mean I don't care how I do it. I'll complain like this, I'll even talk to the authorities or write to the newspaper. I just want those signs removed. Or at least make sure that the parking limit is extended.
You do, do you? Unfortunately, I'm not feeling sympathetic towards you. But maybe it's because the other 4000 people here pay to park.
Well, just so you know, we don't really ticket along the streets. That's the city's responsibility.
Oh?
Yes. So, if you do want to complain about it, you should go over to the city hall.
And let those people deal with you.
I'm here to complain about parking enforcement.
Okay.
Well, I recently got ticketed while I was parked by the gym. And just the other day, I was walking by it, and I noticed all these cars parked there without any permits and with no tickets written on them.
Well, we do have more than one parking lot. But I assure you that we ticket each and every parking lot.
Well, you're just not doing it properly. I mean I got a ticket. I don't see why those other people aren't getting one.
Well, like I said, the officers all work hard, but it's impossible to be at every parking lot at the same time.
Then, you should hire more people! I just think it's unfair that you guys gave me a ticket, and you let those other people park there for free!
And with that, the customer departs.
You mean you don't have free parking for university events?
No.
So what if someone's parents came over from another school? Do they still have to pay for parking?
Yes.
That's just wrong. You're system is completely messed up.
(Insert ten minutes). During this time, I patiently explain the rationale behind issuing user fees and enforcing parking. And the result?
I still think it's unfair that we have to pay for parking. I mean people who are here for events should get free parking.
OKAY.
HOW DO WE KNOW IF YOU'RE PARKED HERE FOR AN EVENT? DO YOU HAVE A NEON SIGN ON TOP OF YOUR CAR SAYING 'I'M HERE FOR THE BASEBALL GAME, DON'T TICKET ME!'
THERE ARE SO MANY EVENTS GOING ON THIS CAMPUS - AS RURAL AS IT IS. HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO KEEP TRACK OF EACH OF THEM?
HUH? HUH? HUH?
To the girl who heads straight into the managerial office without even pausing to knock on the door.
I guess you do own the place, don't you?
Monday, March 1, 2010
Daily Update
To the people who stuck racist flyers onto windshields. You really have nothing better to do, do you?
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Weekly summation
Hello, I'd lurrrrvee to pay this parking ticket.
Do I detect just a hint of sarcasm?
RIP OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, alright...calm down...
Do I detect just a hint of sarcasm?
RIP OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alright, alright...calm down...
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Daily Update
An appeal printed on fancy paper which contained the words:
Herein
Rescind
Grave Citation
AND
Comity. This means an atmosphere of social harmony. I learned a new word today and so did you.
‘Paid in Full Police Parking Ticket’
Does anyone know what this means?
“Here’s my payment for a parking ticket. Of course my appeal has been denied and I have to pay $50 for a parking [ticket]. A little ridiculous, I think. I can only hope that my money is going towards something productive and not into someone’s wallet. I think your parking regulations and fees need reforming.”
Herein
Rescind
Grave Citation
AND
Comity. This means an atmosphere of social harmony. I learned a new word today and so did you.
‘Paid in Full Police Parking Ticket’
Does anyone know what this means?
“Here’s my payment for a parking ticket. Of course my appeal has been denied and I have to pay $50 for a parking [ticket]. A little ridiculous, I think. I can only hope that my money is going towards something productive and not into someone’s wallet. I think your parking regulations and fees need reforming.”
Friday, February 19, 2010
Weekly Tally
A gentleman who called in to say that the nearest pay by space station was full. And refused to walk across to the next one because 'that's just not the purpose of having a car.'
Alright. But then you need to move your car or something because you are parked without a permit.
He also wanted to make sure that he didn't receive a ticket, so would it be okay if he left a dollar on his windshield so that the 'parking guy' would know that he paid for his spot.
Sorry but that's an extremely stupid idea.
So what can I do?
Well, right now, your option is to move your car. I'll call an officer and inform him that pay station number (blank) is full. Let me get your license plate and a vehicle description, and I'll also make a note saying that you called and informed us about it. But I can't make any guarantees that you won't receive a ticket.
Frustrated, he finally hung up.
Okay.
I'm extremely displeased about receiving this parking ticket, especially since there were plenty of open spots in that parking lot, and that I was only here to drop something off for my daughter so that she could complete (some school-related) project.
Even if there are plenty of opens spots, it does not mean that you can just park there. Those parking places are only open to permit holders.
Also, we don't care about your reasons for parking. We just don't. All we know is that if your vehicle is parked, it's parked.
I forgot my five day permit card, but could I get something like a free day permit - since you know that I already have a permit?
Uh, no.
Written on the memo line of a check: (specific verb that begins with f) you!
You do realize that we aren't the only people who see your check, right?
A phone call:
I parked my car illegally in a restricted lot, but is it okay if I remain parked there?
*cries in frustration*
I'm not going to answer this question. I'm just not going to do it.
Alright. But then you need to move your car or something because you are parked without a permit.
He also wanted to make sure that he didn't receive a ticket, so would it be okay if he left a dollar on his windshield so that the 'parking guy' would know that he paid for his spot.
Sorry but that's an extremely stupid idea.
So what can I do?
Well, right now, your option is to move your car. I'll call an officer and inform him that pay station number (blank) is full. Let me get your license plate and a vehicle description, and I'll also make a note saying that you called and informed us about it. But I can't make any guarantees that you won't receive a ticket.
Frustrated, he finally hung up.
Okay.
I'm extremely displeased about receiving this parking ticket, especially since there were plenty of open spots in that parking lot, and that I was only here to drop something off for my daughter so that she could complete (some school-related) project.
Even if there are plenty of opens spots, it does not mean that you can just park there. Those parking places are only open to permit holders.
Also, we don't care about your reasons for parking. We just don't. All we know is that if your vehicle is parked, it's parked.
I forgot my five day permit card, but could I get something like a free day permit - since you know that I already have a permit?
Uh, no.
Written on the memo line of a check: (specific verb that begins with f) you!
You do realize that we aren't the only people who see your check, right?
A phone call:
I parked my car illegally in a restricted lot, but is it okay if I remain parked there?
*cries in frustration*
I'm not going to answer this question. I'm just not going to do it.
Friday, February 5, 2010
My Car doesn't Reverse
In our parking lots, we require people to park head on. This means they shouldn't make it look like they reversed in or pulled all the way across.
One customer phoned in to say that their car doesn't reverse. Therefore, they do need to pull all the way into a stall.
So...um...how do you drive? Like literally - how do you drive?
One customer phoned in to say that their car doesn't reverse. Therefore, they do need to pull all the way into a stall.
So...um...how do you drive? Like literally - how do you drive?
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The first day of the term is always busy
And we do not appreciate it if you start tapping your fingers on the office counter.
We usually like small talk but not during busy days.
If you start to chat, you may find a line of growing and impatient customers behind you. We will be polite towards you, but they may not be.
MY PEN is MY PEN. Thou SHALL NOT grab MY PEN out of MY HAND.
Before you complete a transaction, think twice. We do not like making reversals.
If you think complaining about parking fees has any impact on our composure, think again.
We usually like small talk but not during busy days.
If you start to chat, you may find a line of growing and impatient customers behind you. We will be polite towards you, but they may not be.
MY PEN is MY PEN. Thou SHALL NOT grab MY PEN out of MY HAND.
Before you complete a transaction, think twice. We do not like making reversals.
If you think complaining about parking fees has any impact on our composure, think again.
We Appreciate your Creativity
On the memo line of a check that was received today:
Rather crudely drawn was a stick figure with its finger pointing upwards.
Like I said, we appreciate creativity.
Rather crudely drawn was a stick figure with its finger pointing upwards.
Like I said, we appreciate creativity.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Bring it on!
Monday, February 1st. The first day of the second semester.
The lines.
The rush.
The people.
The phones.
The lines.
The rush.
The people.
The phones.
It's that time of the year again
"Hi. I'm planning on bringing my car here for second semester, and I need a permit."
"Do you live in the dorms or do you commute?"
"I live in the dorms."
"We have a waiting list of more than 60 people, and it's growing."
What I would like to add but don't: "We can certainly offer you a sense of false hope by adding you onto the list. Would you like us to do that?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Let me get your name and a cell phone number and you will be all set."
What I would like to add but don't: "Honestly, this is a waste of time. Sixty people are not going to suddenly give up their permits. But if it makes you feel better, then let's do it."
"Do you live in the dorms or do you commute?"
"I live in the dorms."
"We have a waiting list of more than 60 people, and it's growing."
What I would like to add but don't: "We can certainly offer you a sense of false hope by adding you onto the list. Would you like us to do that?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Let me get your name and a cell phone number and you will be all set."
What I would like to add but don't: "Honestly, this is a waste of time. Sixty people are not going to suddenly give up their permits. But if it makes you feel better, then let's do it."
More forged permits
The five day permit card that was laminated. Then the customer could reuse it over and over again by wiping off the marker marks. They could not understand why they got a citation for fradulent use of a permit.
More Love Notes
Examples:
Smiley faces
BS (yes, we got the actual word) tickets
Checks made out to 'City of (blank city where we live)'
Smiley faces
BS (yes, we got the actual word) tickets
Checks made out to 'City of (blank city where we live)'
Rolling Cars
When you leave your car in neutral and park it on a slightly uphill ground, you can expect it to move. You can expect it to roll. And you can expect it to hit other cars and be a safety hazard.
Never a dull moment.
Never a dull moment.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
When Mailing Your Payment for a Citation, We Advise you to...
1) Sign the check.
2) Include the citation.
3) Include a return address.
4) And don't send cash.
2) Include the citation.
3) Include a return address.
4) And don't send cash.
The Event of the Day
“Can you read the instructions on the back of the permit application card?”
“Sure.”
Starts reading them out loud.
Student worker stares. “No, you don’t have to read them out loud. I mean you can if you want to, but you don’t have to.”
“Oh.”
“Sure.”
Starts reading them out loud.
Student worker stares. “No, you don’t have to read them out loud. I mean you can if you want to, but you don’t have to.”
“Oh.”
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
A parking appeal
It was my understanding that parking is free during the winter vacation.
It is our understanding that it's not.
It is our understanding that it's not.
An Update on Previously Mentioned Forged Permit
The department paid the fee.
Hey, while you're at it, do you mind paying our permit fees for next year too?
Hey, while you're at it, do you mind paying our permit fees for next year too?
Wednesday
Today was an extremely interesting day.
Let’s start by looking at the mail. One customer mailed in a ticket payment and a note saying “Guest parking would be nice.”
But you’re missing the point here. We already have guest parking. You just need to pay for it.
Another person mailed in $15 for a citation valued at $14.
I don’t get this.
Why would you do this? You used a check to make the payment, so it’s not like you don’t have enough change or something like that.
This just reminds me of the people who believe that a $5 late fee added to the $14 ticket comes up to $21. I know where you get the number from. Seven times three is twenty-one. But aren’t you just wasting cash?
Stated by someone making a payment for receiving tickets:
“Guess I’m paying someone’s tuition money.”
Okay, I could be a real smart aleck and tell you exactly where your money is going. But I don’t want to say it, you don’t want to hear it, so let’s just not mention it.
And I saved the best for the last.
In addition to the main office, a tiny information booth is located in one of the most popular parking lots. Students can purchase either a day permit or an overnight permit from this place.
So, now to the main story.
We received a warning call from the booth saying that an extremely upset customer was on their way.
So they came up to the counter.
Noticing the ticket on their hand, I state: "Well, you did come to the right place."
"No," waving ticket around. "This is not right. I came to drop something off for my daughter. I was parked for 10 minutes, and I got this!"
I would categorize their behavior as being initially explosive. Then they calm down into being apologetic for the caustic nature.
After sparring with manager for five minutes, they depart.
Not the most entertaining customer we've had, but definitely brightened up an otherise dull day.
Let’s start by looking at the mail. One customer mailed in a ticket payment and a note saying “Guest parking would be nice.”
But you’re missing the point here. We already have guest parking. You just need to pay for it.
Another person mailed in $15 for a citation valued at $14.
I don’t get this.
Why would you do this? You used a check to make the payment, so it’s not like you don’t have enough change or something like that.
This just reminds me of the people who believe that a $5 late fee added to the $14 ticket comes up to $21. I know where you get the number from. Seven times three is twenty-one. But aren’t you just wasting cash?
Stated by someone making a payment for receiving tickets:
“Guess I’m paying someone’s tuition money.”
Okay, I could be a real smart aleck and tell you exactly where your money is going. But I don’t want to say it, you don’t want to hear it, so let’s just not mention it.
And I saved the best for the last.
In addition to the main office, a tiny information booth is located in one of the most popular parking lots. Students can purchase either a day permit or an overnight permit from this place.
So, now to the main story.
We received a warning call from the booth saying that an extremely upset customer was on their way.
So they came up to the counter.
Noticing the ticket on their hand, I state: "Well, you did come to the right place."
"No," waving ticket around. "This is not right. I came to drop something off for my daughter. I was parked for 10 minutes, and I got this!"
I would categorize their behavior as being initially explosive. Then they calm down into being apologetic for the caustic nature.
After sparring with manager for five minutes, they depart.
Not the most entertaining customer we've had, but definitely brightened up an otherise dull day.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Forging a Permit
Ah, we come to one of my favorite topics. This is what happens when someones decides to go around (or cheat) the system.
Does it work?
Not really.
A customer can buy either a year-round, sticker-based permit or a temporary, paper-based permit.I know I mentioned this before, but I'd like to give the unfamiliar blog-reader a little foundation for the topic.
Examples of sticker-based permits which are used illegally:
A random student will approach a car displaying a sticker permit. Using a digital camera, they will take a photograph of the permit. The picture will be printed, cut out, and pasted onto their car.
Why this doesn't work:
The sticker permit has a certain shine to it. The paper one doesn't.
The photograph will capture any shadows caused by the light, and we will catch it.
A student made a perfect reproduction of their parent's permit by using a scanner and printing it on special paper. The officers would have never caught this, except they noticed that this student (with their staff permit) always parked in a student lot.
Examples of paper-based permits used illegally:
Now, this is more common. When a paper-based permit is issued from our office, we write the date that the permit is valid for (or till) with a black marker. Students are fond of fudging the numbers around a little. Make the six an eight. Make the one a seven or a nine. Draw in real think lines to make it blend in. Now, this, this will always make us suspicious. But it's real easy and can be accomplished with just a simple marker stroke. Not pretty and quite obvious.
The officers are pretty efficient at finding a permit that just doesn't match up. Or else they could radio the office (yes, radio, sounds very official doesn't it?) and double check the validity of a permit.
The officers will photograph the fake permit and use it as evidence to back up the ticket. And the ticket, gee, the ticket is well over a hundred dollars.
Instead of taking the hard way around, won't it be easier to buy a permit for the day? We only charge you a couple of bucks for it. And, just to save two dollars, you end up saddled with a hundred dollar fine. It's pointless.
I made this entry for a reason. Today, I just found the photograph of a permit that had been illegally altered. The person hadn't even bothered to cover it up. They simply crossed off the old numbers and wrote in new ones. They even changed the year (which is stamped on the permit with read ink) by altering it with the black marker. Red on black or black on red...kind of stands out, doesn't it?
The permit was screaming. And it was screaming, "Ticket me! Ticket me!" Yes, we did.
The permit belonged to an employee.
The employee's boss called the office to see if anything could be done regarding the ticket. Or if the ticket could be gently nudged out of the way since it was such a heavy fine! The employee was only trying to save paper by altering the permit. See, if the old permit is changed, then you guys won't need to make out a new one. You'll save a permit, you'll save paper, and we'll all save a tree.
Aw. That's such a heart-warming thought. In fact, let's all hold hands and dance around a camp fire.
...but I find this a tad untruthful. I mean, don't you really mean save money?
And either way, their actions did make some poor tree suffer. We printed the citation on a piece of paper, and we used an envelope (also made of paper) to safe-guard this citation. Then, we had to take a picture of the parking violation and print that out. In the process, I think we ended up killing more trees, not saving them.
So, if anyone else decides to forge a permit in the future, please show some more creativity. We appreciate it if you take some time to make it look like you made an effort. This last one was a complete insult.
Does it work?
Not really.
A customer can buy either a year-round, sticker-based permit or a temporary, paper-based permit.I know I mentioned this before, but I'd like to give the unfamiliar blog-reader a little foundation for the topic.
Examples of sticker-based permits which are used illegally:
A random student will approach a car displaying a sticker permit. Using a digital camera, they will take a photograph of the permit. The picture will be printed, cut out, and pasted onto their car.
Why this doesn't work:
The sticker permit has a certain shine to it. The paper one doesn't.
The photograph will capture any shadows caused by the light, and we will catch it.
A student made a perfect reproduction of their parent's permit by using a scanner and printing it on special paper. The officers would have never caught this, except they noticed that this student (with their staff permit) always parked in a student lot.
Examples of paper-based permits used illegally:
Now, this is more common. When a paper-based permit is issued from our office, we write the date that the permit is valid for (or till) with a black marker. Students are fond of fudging the numbers around a little. Make the six an eight. Make the one a seven or a nine. Draw in real think lines to make it blend in. Now, this, this will always make us suspicious. But it's real easy and can be accomplished with just a simple marker stroke. Not pretty and quite obvious.
The officers are pretty efficient at finding a permit that just doesn't match up. Or else they could radio the office (yes, radio, sounds very official doesn't it?) and double check the validity of a permit.
The officers will photograph the fake permit and use it as evidence to back up the ticket. And the ticket, gee, the ticket is well over a hundred dollars.
Instead of taking the hard way around, won't it be easier to buy a permit for the day? We only charge you a couple of bucks for it. And, just to save two dollars, you end up saddled with a hundred dollar fine. It's pointless.
I made this entry for a reason. Today, I just found the photograph of a permit that had been illegally altered. The person hadn't even bothered to cover it up. They simply crossed off the old numbers and wrote in new ones. They even changed the year (which is stamped on the permit with read ink) by altering it with the black marker. Red on black or black on red...kind of stands out, doesn't it?
The permit was screaming. And it was screaming, "Ticket me! Ticket me!" Yes, we did.
The permit belonged to an employee.
The employee's boss called the office to see if anything could be done regarding the ticket. Or if the ticket could be gently nudged out of the way since it was such a heavy fine! The employee was only trying to save paper by altering the permit. See, if the old permit is changed, then you guys won't need to make out a new one. You'll save a permit, you'll save paper, and we'll all save a tree.
Aw. That's such a heart-warming thought. In fact, let's all hold hands and dance around a camp fire.
...but I find this a tad untruthful. I mean, don't you really mean save money?
And either way, their actions did make some poor tree suffer. We printed the citation on a piece of paper, and we used an envelope (also made of paper) to safe-guard this citation. Then, we had to take a picture of the parking violation and print that out. In the process, I think we ended up killing more trees, not saving them.
So, if anyone else decides to forge a permit in the future, please show some more creativity. We appreciate it if you take some time to make it look like you made an effort. This last one was a complete insult.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Psychic Powers
We recently received a wad of cash in the mail.
There was no accompanying citation.
There was no return address.
There was no information whatsoever.
We could not process the payment.
Do you expect us to be psychic?
Do you expect us to close our eyes, touch an envelope, and claim your personal details?
The wad of cash sits in the office safe, untouched. It has been a month, and no one has claimed it.
There was no accompanying citation.
There was no return address.
There was no information whatsoever.
We could not process the payment.
Do you expect us to be psychic?
Do you expect us to close our eyes, touch an envelope, and claim your personal details?
The wad of cash sits in the office safe, untouched. It has been a month, and no one has claimed it.
G as in garbage
The previous owner of a vehicle called our office today. He began complaining about a letter he had received concerning this vehicle. Since he was no longer the owner of this vehicle, why do these letters keep arriving at his place?
"Can you spell the last name of the new owner?"
"Yes. G as in garbage - "
G as in garbage?
Gee, that must have been a sour transaction, eh?
"Can you spell the last name of the new owner?"
"Yes. G as in garbage - "
G as in garbage?
Gee, that must have been a sour transaction, eh?
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
In order to keep yourself from losing a movable permit...
Chain it to your steering wheel. No, really.
Monday, January 11, 2010
I pay to use the gym. Why should I pay for parking too?
Let's assume there is free parking in that one lot by the gym.
Here's what will happen.
Students and employees will arrive on campus at 4 in the morning - just so they can park in that one free lot.
But so what? Two hours of sleep is worth the cost of the permit, right?
And once they park there, they will not move until the work day ends.
As a result,
1) You will lose close parking by the gym
2) Everyone who got up at 4 in the morning will be less productive
But it will be amusing, right? It'll be like that Toyota commercial where the deals are so great that everyone scrambles over to claim some vehicle. And, at the end, there's that one guy who raises his hand and says. "Uh...I didn't get one."
"Don't worry, we got more in the back."
We don't.
I'm going to make a cliched statement. But if I had a penny (and I mean a penny) for every phone call that I got talking about this, I'd be rich.
And the reason I'm being grumpy is because I got a phone call like this today. Today. In the middle of winter vacation.
Here's what will happen.
Students and employees will arrive on campus at 4 in the morning - just so they can park in that one free lot.
But so what? Two hours of sleep is worth the cost of the permit, right?
And once they park there, they will not move until the work day ends.
As a result,
1) You will lose close parking by the gym
2) Everyone who got up at 4 in the morning will be less productive
But it will be amusing, right? It'll be like that Toyota commercial where the deals are so great that everyone scrambles over to claim some vehicle. And, at the end, there's that one guy who raises his hand and says. "Uh...I didn't get one."
"Don't worry, we got more in the back."
We don't.
I'm going to make a cliched statement. But if I had a penny (and I mean a penny) for every phone call that I got talking about this, I'd be rich.
And the reason I'm being grumpy is because I got a phone call like this today. Today. In the middle of winter vacation.
But I didn't see the parking sign...
How can you not see it? It's neon pink, there are flashing lights all around it, and we just hired a bunch of leprechauns to do the French cancan on top of it. Honestly though, if aesthetics were not a serious question, the university should really consider this.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
This was written on a permit application card:
"I am hard of hearing. Because of this I would require a closer parking lot."
This was a freshman resident student.
Should you really be driving? If I blare my horn, will you hear it? I mean you might be considered a safety hazard on the road. I certainly don't want to be driving around you.
On the other hand, until you produce a statement from your doctor, we don't believe you.
This was a freshman resident student.
Should you really be driving? If I blare my horn, will you hear it? I mean you might be considered a safety hazard on the road. I certainly don't want to be driving around you.
On the other hand, until you produce a statement from your doctor, we don't believe you.
Statements which have occurred
"Nazis"
"Fascist Regime"
"Thugs"
"Here, take the money. You need it."
No, we certainly don't. We are one of the few profit-earning places on campus. But, yes, we'll take it.
"All you guys care about is money."
Alright, alright, we admit it. You caught us red-handed.
"Parking is over-priced."
You think so? Care to sit around for a few minutes while I try to explain why it's not.
"Why is parking so expensive around here?"
Have you compared us to some of the other universities in this state? No. Do your background research first.
"This is unfair."
I know. Would you like a hug and kiss too?
"This whole thing is stupid. They should let people park for free."
Okay. We'll also give you a snow plow. From here on, you and your plow are responsible for clearing snow from every university lot during the winter.
"Fascist Regime"
"Thugs"
"Here, take the money. You need it."
No, we certainly don't. We are one of the few profit-earning places on campus. But, yes, we'll take it.
"All you guys care about is money."
Alright, alright, we admit it. You caught us red-handed.
"Parking is over-priced."
You think so? Care to sit around for a few minutes while I try to explain why it's not.
"Why is parking so expensive around here?"
Have you compared us to some of the other universities in this state? No. Do your background research first.
"This is unfair."
I know. Would you like a hug and kiss too?
"This whole thing is stupid. They should let people park for free."
Okay. We'll also give you a snow plow. From here on, you and your plow are responsible for clearing snow from every university lot during the winter.
If Citations are Left Unpaid
If you are a student, we are kind.
We tack on a late fee and add it onto your tuition bill.
If you are not a student, we will be unkind.
We tack on a late fee and start to wait. We wait some more, add on some more fees, and finally suspend your vehicle registration.
Possible scenario:
You are driving around.
A POLICE OFFICER pulls you over for driving around with suspended plates.
Oh, they were suspended? you question.
Yeah, because you didn't pay your parking tickets at quaint university.
You are awarded with an even bigger fine.
The end.
The moral of this story: Don't ignore your parking tickets. Pay them.
We tack on a late fee and add it onto your tuition bill.
If you are not a student, we will be unkind.
We tack on a late fee and start to wait. We wait some more, add on some more fees, and finally suspend your vehicle registration.
Possible scenario:
You are driving around.
A POLICE OFFICER pulls you over for driving around with suspended plates.
Oh, they were suspended? you question.
Yeah, because you didn't pay your parking tickets at quaint university.
You are awarded with an even bigger fine.
The end.
The moral of this story: Don't ignore your parking tickets. Pay them.
Cat Excrement
In order to show their displeasure, some idiot decided to mail cat litter in an envelope. We did not find it amusing. The idiot included their return address and complaints were made to the postal department (as in USPS).
Regarding Appeals
A quarter is taped onto the citation of an overtime meter.
The accompanying note says:
"I am 56 years old. If I could've climbed onto that snow bank and plugged the meter, I would have done so. Here's 25 cents for the time I was there."
The note was submitted as an appeal. The appeal was granted.
On the day that a famous sports figure (very dear to our state) retired from said sport.
The appeal says:
"I'm very depressed by their retirement. I can't bear to take any more bad news. Considering that, please void this ticket."
The appeal was denied.
The famous sports figure has now come out of retirement and has joined a rival team. Not just any rival team, a team that this state absolutely loathes.
Hopefully, the depressed customer is not feeling suicidal.
Quotes
"The parking permit was standing up on my window."
This bugs me. Because it can't be true, not unless the laws of physics somehow reversed themselves.
Better:
"The parking permit was displayed on my window."
"I was only there was (blank) minutes.
We know. But it doesn't matter. When your vehicle is left unattended - even if it's just for a second, it is parked. And you cannot park on campus grounds without a permit.
The Parking Services department is made up of (whatever word you prefer).
We know. Someone already beat you to the punch.
Gotta-go-gotta-go-gotta-go-right-now
Well, yeah, I see your point. You can't exactly go in the car, can you?
Doctors' handwriting, long, rambling sentences as writers vent off their spleen, total confusion because we have no idea what you are talking about etc etc etc etc
The accompanying note says:
"I am 56 years old. If I could've climbed onto that snow bank and plugged the meter, I would have done so. Here's 25 cents for the time I was there."
The note was submitted as an appeal. The appeal was granted.
On the day that a famous sports figure (very dear to our state) retired from said sport.
The appeal says:
"I'm very depressed by their retirement. I can't bear to take any more bad news. Considering that, please void this ticket."
The appeal was denied.
The famous sports figure has now come out of retirement and has joined a rival team. Not just any rival team, a team that this state absolutely loathes.
Hopefully, the depressed customer is not feeling suicidal.
Quotes
"The parking permit was standing up on my window."
This bugs me. Because it can't be true, not unless the laws of physics somehow reversed themselves.
Better:
"The parking permit was displayed on my window."
"I was only there was (blank) minutes.
We know. But it doesn't matter. When your vehicle is left unattended - even if it's just for a second, it is parked. And you cannot park on campus grounds without a permit.
The Parking Services department is made up of (whatever word you prefer).
We know. Someone already beat you to the punch.
Gotta-go-gotta-go-gotta-go-right-now
Well, yeah, I see your point. You can't exactly go in the car, can you?
Doctors' handwriting, long, rambling sentences as writers vent off their spleen, total confusion because we have no idea what you are talking about etc etc etc etc
Parking Appeals
If a customer feels that a parking ticket has been unfairly issued or if they have a good reason for contesting the ticket, they may do so by appealing.
An appeal is due within 72 business hours of the initial citation. If it is late, a reason needs to be included. If an appeal is late, the appeals committee may disregard it completely, even if a reason is included.
Employees at the office are not allowed to serve in the Appeals Committee.
Three appeals are allowed. The first two are written and third is face-to-face.
A letter containing the decision will be mailed to your address. Till then, the appeal will be put on a hold.
An appeal is due within 72 business hours of the initial citation. If it is late, a reason needs to be included. If an appeal is late, the appeals committee may disregard it completely, even if a reason is included.
Employees at the office are not allowed to serve in the Appeals Committee.
Three appeals are allowed. The first two are written and third is face-to-face.
A letter containing the decision will be mailed to your address. Till then, the appeal will be put on a hold.
Types of Customers (sort of continued from previous post)
The Big Sigh
You approach the counter and heave a big sigh. Let the student assistant know you disagree with the citation. Let everyone in the office know you are paying it unwillingly. Let the whole world know how much you hate this place.
I have grown immune to the big sigh.
You will need to come up with a bigger sigh.
The Ticket Flinger
The customers who throw their ticket into your face.
The Cash Flinger
The customers who fling their cash onto the counter.
The Pen Flinger
The customers who fling the pen onto the counter.
The Penny Hoarder
The customer who pays a ticket in the lowest possible coin bases. If there is a line of people behind you, I might make you start counting too. Or else, I might just take my time.
We also have a minor two dollar ticket. This is the least expensive of our citations. Customers are fond of filling the ticket envelope with pennies and leaving it at our counter. We don't care. Because we don't count it.
On the other hand, we like to void the first offense.
You will push your pennies towards me, and I will push them right back at you. I sincerely hope you didn't spend too much time collecting them.
The I-refuse-to-speak-or-look-at-you-and-I-will-somehow-make-the-atmosphere-cold-and-stifle-you
Don't worry. We get the hint. You won't talk, and we won't talk.
Love Notes
Little messages may be included on the memo line of a check. Sometimes, letters may be slipped into an envelope. They may be written on decent letter paper or a scrap may be torn out of a notebook. They may be decoratively designed, include several words that are not often used in public, or lament about their lack of luck.
We love you too. You brighten up our day.
Cards
We recently received a card which expressed regret for parking in the wrong place. There was an absolutely adorable dog on the front. We appreciate the effort, but the full payment will suffice. And, yet, we do appreciate the effort.
You approach the counter and heave a big sigh. Let the student assistant know you disagree with the citation. Let everyone in the office know you are paying it unwillingly. Let the whole world know how much you hate this place.
I have grown immune to the big sigh.
You will need to come up with a bigger sigh.
The Ticket Flinger
The customers who throw their ticket into your face.
The Cash Flinger
The customers who fling their cash onto the counter.
The Pen Flinger
The customers who fling the pen onto the counter.
The Penny Hoarder
The customer who pays a ticket in the lowest possible coin bases. If there is a line of people behind you, I might make you start counting too. Or else, I might just take my time.
We also have a minor two dollar ticket. This is the least expensive of our citations. Customers are fond of filling the ticket envelope with pennies and leaving it at our counter. We don't care. Because we don't count it.
On the other hand, we like to void the first offense.
You will push your pennies towards me, and I will push them right back at you. I sincerely hope you didn't spend too much time collecting them.
The I-refuse-to-speak-or-look-at-you-and-I-will-somehow-make-the-atmosphere-cold-and-stifle-you
Don't worry. We get the hint. You won't talk, and we won't talk.
Love Notes
Little messages may be included on the memo line of a check. Sometimes, letters may be slipped into an envelope. They may be written on decent letter paper or a scrap may be torn out of a notebook. They may be decoratively designed, include several words that are not often used in public, or lament about their lack of luck.
We love you too. You brighten up our day.
Cards
We recently received a card which expressed regret for parking in the wrong place. There was an absolutely adorable dog on the front. We appreciate the effort, but the full payment will suffice. And, yet, we do appreciate the effort.
Through Proxy
Though the offspring will disregard parking matters until the very last moment (usually the first day of school), the responsible parent will often call the office and inquire about the parking situation.
This includes parents of incoming freshman or transfer students.
Inquiring parents:
Situation Number One: a common scenario
"Can you tell me about the parking situation for incoming freshman? My daughter will be living in the dorms next year."
The call was received on a cold day in January, and permit allocations for the next year start in the summer.
"Well, we haven't really done anything for it yet. We receive a mailing list from Residence life, and then send information to all the students on that list."
"Okay. And what's the possibility that my daughter will get a good parking spot."
Well, I don't want to state the obvious, but..."You're daughter would most likely end up in a....uh...(scrambling for words)...less desirable lot."
Laughter.
It's always nice to hear laughter.
Situation Number Two
"So where can my son park with this permit?"
"Well, he can park in any of (these) lots. Do you know what dorm he's living in? Then I can point out the lot that's closest to that dorm."
"(said) dorm."
"Oh, then he can park in lot (number). That's the closest."
"How will he know where to find it?"
"It's right next to (blank) - the bar."
The father couldn't stop laughing for a whole minute.
"I'm sure he'll find it," I volunteered.
"I'm sure of that too."
Upset parents:
Situation One: a very common scenario
"My son has been at the school for a year. I don't understand why he has a remote lot permit for next year."
"Well, in order to automatically get a resident permit, we require that students have at least 30 credits. That's how we determine who's a sophomore and who's not."
"But he's already been there for an year. It's his second year, he's a sophomore."
"But he didn't have the required number of credits, and that's how he ended up with a remote lot permit."
Situation Two
This incident stuck in my mind because of a word that the parent used. No, it wasn't one of those words (though that's not uncommon around here), but it's because I've never heard it used in regard to the campus.
The parents had arrived to deposit their daughter at her new campus: this quaint university located in the middle of nowhere. It was the second semester, and we did not have any resident permits available.
The only thing we had was a remote lot permit - to a lot that's across the bridge.
The father arrived at the office, and he was upset when he heard the news but was not about to have a fit.
He called the mother to inform her of the situation. The mother was not pleased.
She called the office, and I answered the phone.
"-And I will not leave my daughter in this slum of a place without a proper parking spot!"
Slum?
Alright, it's quaint. And it's rural. And it's in the middle of nowhere. But I've never referred to it as slum. That's a low blow.
Oh, wait. I know. Did you watch Slumdog Millionaire? How was the movie?
Eventually, she demanded to speak to the Parking Manager.
After 10 minutes of arguing on the phone, she realized she wasn't going to win.
Ha ha! Score one for the slum!
Cargo Ships
Ah, cargo ships. When these massive objects approach the harbor, smaller ships and boats know that they have only a few seconds to clear off before being demolished by these approaching shadows.
When we see a cargo ship progress towards the office, we know it. Because we can see it. It's in their walk (a sure, steady walk that means business). It's in their face (an upset face which is pointed directly at our office). And it's in their smile (basically, they're not smiling).
I've mentioned before that I love angry customers, right? Well, let me say it again. I love angry customers.
I put down whatever it is I'm working on and approach the office counter, at the height of optimum customer service.
"Hello," I say, displaying my most brightest smile. I don't have to make an effort at smiling, I literally smile at the anticipation of the on brewing storm. "How can I help you?"
We can now divide their response into several categories.
First, there are the customers who will not bother waiting for my greeting. They will start and won't stop until they run out of steam.
Then, there are the customers who will start within a second of my question. They may build up their momentum, or blow up in a manner similar to a volcano.
Next, we have the ones who won't even bother with the bottom of the food chain. "Can I see your supervisor?" they ask in a cold voice.
"Right away."
We also have a special category called the deniers. These people will often deny or apologize for being caustic but will continue to be caustic. "Of course, I realize that you have to ticket and all, but blah blah. I understand it's your job, but blah blah."
Finally, we have the last category. These are the people who disappoint me the most, and, frankly, the ones that I hate. They will start off by being friendly. And then, they will blow up. What's the point? Choose just one or the other.
Puffer Fish
Initially, they will be very polite. And, then, through some unknown source, they will obtain just a whiff of courage. They will puff out their chest (yes, literally, I've seen it happen) and begin.
The Questionnaires
These people will question every statement that you make.
"Well, the problem is that you won't be able to park there."
"Oh, yeah? Where does it say that?"
"There's a sign at the entrance, and it's included under the Rules and Regulations section on the parking map."
"What sign? What rules and regulations? What parking map?"
This includes parents of incoming freshman or transfer students.
Inquiring parents:
Situation Number One: a common scenario
"Can you tell me about the parking situation for incoming freshman? My daughter will be living in the dorms next year."
The call was received on a cold day in January, and permit allocations for the next year start in the summer.
"Well, we haven't really done anything for it yet. We receive a mailing list from Residence life, and then send information to all the students on that list."
"Okay. And what's the possibility that my daughter will get a good parking spot."
Well, I don't want to state the obvious, but..."You're daughter would most likely end up in a....uh...(scrambling for words)...less desirable lot."
Laughter.
It's always nice to hear laughter.
Situation Number Two
"So where can my son park with this permit?"
"Well, he can park in any of (these) lots. Do you know what dorm he's living in? Then I can point out the lot that's closest to that dorm."
"(said) dorm."
"Oh, then he can park in lot (number). That's the closest."
"How will he know where to find it?"
"It's right next to (blank) - the bar."
The father couldn't stop laughing for a whole minute.
"I'm sure he'll find it," I volunteered.
"I'm sure of that too."
Upset parents:
Situation One: a very common scenario
"My son has been at the school for a year. I don't understand why he has a remote lot permit for next year."
"Well, in order to automatically get a resident permit, we require that students have at least 30 credits. That's how we determine who's a sophomore and who's not."
"But he's already been there for an year. It's his second year, he's a sophomore."
"But he didn't have the required number of credits, and that's how he ended up with a remote lot permit."
Situation Two
This incident stuck in my mind because of a word that the parent used. No, it wasn't one of those words (though that's not uncommon around here), but it's because I've never heard it used in regard to the campus.
The parents had arrived to deposit their daughter at her new campus: this quaint university located in the middle of nowhere. It was the second semester, and we did not have any resident permits available.
The only thing we had was a remote lot permit - to a lot that's across the bridge.
The father arrived at the office, and he was upset when he heard the news but was not about to have a fit.
He called the mother to inform her of the situation. The mother was not pleased.
She called the office, and I answered the phone.
"-And I will not leave my daughter in this slum of a place without a proper parking spot!"
Slum?
Alright, it's quaint. And it's rural. And it's in the middle of nowhere. But I've never referred to it as slum. That's a low blow.
Oh, wait. I know. Did you watch Slumdog Millionaire? How was the movie?
Eventually, she demanded to speak to the Parking Manager.
After 10 minutes of arguing on the phone, she realized she wasn't going to win.
Ha ha! Score one for the slum!
Cargo Ships
Ah, cargo ships. When these massive objects approach the harbor, smaller ships and boats know that they have only a few seconds to clear off before being demolished by these approaching shadows.
When we see a cargo ship progress towards the office, we know it. Because we can see it. It's in their walk (a sure, steady walk that means business). It's in their face (an upset face which is pointed directly at our office). And it's in their smile (basically, they're not smiling).
I've mentioned before that I love angry customers, right? Well, let me say it again. I love angry customers.
I put down whatever it is I'm working on and approach the office counter, at the height of optimum customer service.
"Hello," I say, displaying my most brightest smile. I don't have to make an effort at smiling, I literally smile at the anticipation of the on brewing storm. "How can I help you?"
We can now divide their response into several categories.
First, there are the customers who will not bother waiting for my greeting. They will start and won't stop until they run out of steam.
Then, there are the customers who will start within a second of my question. They may build up their momentum, or blow up in a manner similar to a volcano.
Next, we have the ones who won't even bother with the bottom of the food chain. "Can I see your supervisor?" they ask in a cold voice.
"Right away."
We also have a special category called the deniers. These people will often deny or apologize for being caustic but will continue to be caustic. "Of course, I realize that you have to ticket and all, but blah blah. I understand it's your job, but blah blah."
Finally, we have the last category. These are the people who disappoint me the most, and, frankly, the ones that I hate. They will start off by being friendly. And then, they will blow up. What's the point? Choose just one or the other.
Puffer Fish
Initially, they will be very polite. And, then, through some unknown source, they will obtain just a whiff of courage. They will puff out their chest (yes, literally, I've seen it happen) and begin.
The Questionnaires
These people will question every statement that you make.
"Well, the problem is that you won't be able to park there."
"Oh, yeah? Where does it say that?"
"There's a sign at the entrance, and it's included under the Rules and Regulations section on the parking map."
"What sign? What rules and regulations? What parking map?"
Friday, January 8, 2010
Tallies for the week of January 4, 2010 to January 8, 2010
Unruly customers: Two
One was upset because they needed to return their old permit to obtain the replacement.
“But it was destroyed.”
“But we need proof because we don’t believe you.”
I mean, you could give the old permit to someone else.
The other was upset because they got a ticket at nine in the morning, and, with every syllable, the volume increased.
“I can understand that you guys ticket, but I don’t see why I got this so early in the morning. My class isn’t until one. Why should I get up at nine to buy a parking permit? And you guys aren’t even open during the weekend. I brought my car up on Sunday afternoon, and I wasn’t getting up early to buy a permit.”
And on and on and on and on…
Friendly about it: One
“I’m giving you money, even if I don’t want to give you money.”
And we’ll gladly accept because we are a money-chasing, profit-mongering institution.
Interesting tidbits:
“I just got a parking ticket, and it’s a pretty hefty one too.”
Yeah, no kidding.
“I thought you guys don’t ticket during the winter vacation.”
We just like to prey on ignorant people.
Lost parking permits:
Four
Lost permits found again:
One
One was upset because they needed to return their old permit to obtain the replacement.
“But it was destroyed.”
“But we need proof because we don’t believe you.”
I mean, you could give the old permit to someone else.
The other was upset because they got a ticket at nine in the morning, and, with every syllable, the volume increased.
“I can understand that you guys ticket, but I don’t see why I got this so early in the morning. My class isn’t until one. Why should I get up at nine to buy a parking permit? And you guys aren’t even open during the weekend. I brought my car up on Sunday afternoon, and I wasn’t getting up early to buy a permit.”
And on and on and on and on…
Friendly about it: One
“I’m giving you money, even if I don’t want to give you money.”
And we’ll gladly accept because we are a money-chasing, profit-mongering institution.
Interesting tidbits:
“I just got a parking ticket, and it’s a pretty hefty one too.”
Yeah, no kidding.
“I thought you guys don’t ticket during the winter vacation.”
We just like to prey on ignorant people.
Lost parking permits:
Four
Lost permits found again:
One
Brilliant People
After finding a citation upon one’s own car, they gently remove the ticket and the accompanying envelope and place it on their neighbor’s car. They now assume the ticket is no longer their responsibility.
Why this doesn’t work:
When an officer writes a ticket, they include the license plates and a description. Or the vehicle identification number for those who drive around without their license plates.
Parking illegally and displaying an old citation you received, believing that we will be fooled by its presence.
Why this doesn’t work:
Our officers actually check previous citations to see WHEN they were issued. If they discover an old citation is masquerading on top of your windshield, they will still write out a citation for parking without a permit. Then, they will align the two envelopes to make it look as if only one ticket is there. Once you make your way into the parking lot, you will smile to yourself smugly, thinking the ruse worked. But when you approach the car and lift the ticket, you notice that it has increased in thickness.
Why this doesn’t work:
When an officer writes a ticket, they include the license plates and a description. Or the vehicle identification number for those who drive around without their license plates.
Parking illegally and displaying an old citation you received, believing that we will be fooled by its presence.
Why this doesn’t work:
Our officers actually check previous citations to see WHEN they were issued. If they discover an old citation is masquerading on top of your windshield, they will still write out a citation for parking without a permit. Then, they will align the two envelopes to make it look as if only one ticket is there. Once you make your way into the parking lot, you will smile to yourself smugly, thinking the ruse worked. But when you approach the car and lift the ticket, you notice that it has increased in thickness.
Meter Freaks
“I put fifty cents into the meter, and it didn’t register. I’d like my money back.”
(Blog-reader, these statements have been slightly edited to trim away the excess words.)
Politely: “We don’t issue refunds for meters because we aren’t able to tell who inserted how much and at what time.”
That person didn’t go away for five minutes.
It would have been a lot easier to pull out my purse, take out fifty cents, and just give it to you. Fifty cents in exchange for not listening to your banter is an extremely tempting offer. Then again, there are some who would take that in the wrong way and become even more verbal.
A phone call that happened before I began to work here:
“I inserted a dime into a meter, and it never registered. I’d like the refund mailed back.”
The caller lived in a far-off, even more rural town.
The Parking Services manager politely said. “We don’t issue refunds on meters.”
“I put in a dime, and I never got my money’s worth. I’d like a refund!”
This circular conversation continued for some time.
Finally, the Parking manager says. “Fine. If you mail me a letter with a SASE envelope, I’ll send the dime back.”
Let’s break this down by following the format of a Mastercard advertisement.
Two stamps: 88 cents
Envelopes: 2 cents (?)
Sheet of paper used to write the letter: 1 cent (?)
Ink: 2 cents (?)
Time spent: 10 minutes (not including the phone call)
Net loss: 83 cents
What I would’ve given to see the look on the caller’s face: Priceless
(Blog-reader, these statements have been slightly edited to trim away the excess words.)
Politely: “We don’t issue refunds for meters because we aren’t able to tell who inserted how much and at what time.”
That person didn’t go away for five minutes.
It would have been a lot easier to pull out my purse, take out fifty cents, and just give it to you. Fifty cents in exchange for not listening to your banter is an extremely tempting offer. Then again, there are some who would take that in the wrong way and become even more verbal.
A phone call that happened before I began to work here:
“I inserted a dime into a meter, and it never registered. I’d like the refund mailed back.”
The caller lived in a far-off, even more rural town.
The Parking Services manager politely said. “We don’t issue refunds on meters.”
“I put in a dime, and I never got my money’s worth. I’d like a refund!”
This circular conversation continued for some time.
Finally, the Parking manager says. “Fine. If you mail me a letter with a SASE envelope, I’ll send the dime back.”
Let’s break this down by following the format of a Mastercard advertisement.
Two stamps: 88 cents
Envelopes: 2 cents (?)
Sheet of paper used to write the letter: 1 cent (?)
Ink: 2 cents (?)
Time spent: 10 minutes (not including the phone call)
Net loss: 83 cents
What I would’ve given to see the look on the caller’s face: Priceless
This was written on a permit application card:
Type of vehicle: Honka
Notice the ‘k.’ Blog-reader, you may shrug it off and say it was a slip of the hand. The writer was intending to write a ‘d,’ but the pen must have malfunctioned and produced a ‘k.’ No. It was there in plain English. There was a vertical line extending downwards. A branch emerged from that vertical line at a forty-five degree angle, and another downward branch extended out of the first branch. It was a ‘k.’ Believe me, it was a ‘k.’
A hunk of honka.
Notice the ‘k.’ Blog-reader, you may shrug it off and say it was a slip of the hand. The writer was intending to write a ‘d,’ but the pen must have malfunctioned and produced a ‘k.’ No. It was there in plain English. There was a vertical line extending downwards. A branch emerged from that vertical line at a forty-five degree angle, and another downward branch extended out of the first branch. It was a ‘k.’ Believe me, it was a ‘k.’
A hunk of honka.
More Customer Questions
“This is Parking Services. How can I help you?”
“This was the only campus number that I could find.”
Okay. So, let me get this straight. Out of the entire campus directory, out of the entire campus website, this was the ONLY number that you could find?
“And I was wondering if you could give me the phone number for (blank) department?”
Aren’t we being a tad bit lazy? It would take you less than two seconds to search for the department webpage and extract their phone number. We do not deal with information services. We deal with parking, ticketing, and issuing permits.
Offices that are usually asked for: Academic Advising, Cashiers Department, Financial Aid Office, University Dining.
Oh, and Office of International Education. I got this one once.
“Could give me information on (blank) major?”
You do realize you were greeted with the message ‘This is Parking Services.’
“Do you know anything about (blank event) going on campus?”
Oh, we have something like that? That’s news to me too.
More obscure questions:
“I heard you are selling fleet vehicles. Where do I find more about this?”
This one staggered me for one moment.
It wasn’t just the question. It was because the guy on the other end had an Australian accent. And it wasn’t just the accent. It made me think a guy from Australia was trying to buy used vehicles from this little old university that’s located in the middle of nowhere. He was actually from a large city in the next state.
Then I had to search for that obscure little department which deals with state vehicles. They were located as a sub-department under Campus Services. Oh, gee, I knew that.
“This was the only campus number that I could find.”
Okay. So, let me get this straight. Out of the entire campus directory, out of the entire campus website, this was the ONLY number that you could find?
“And I was wondering if you could give me the phone number for (blank) department?”
Aren’t we being a tad bit lazy? It would take you less than two seconds to search for the department webpage and extract their phone number. We do not deal with information services. We deal with parking, ticketing, and issuing permits.
Offices that are usually asked for: Academic Advising, Cashiers Department, Financial Aid Office, University Dining.
Oh, and Office of International Education. I got this one once.
“Could give me information on (blank) major?”
You do realize you were greeted with the message ‘This is Parking Services.’
“Do you know anything about (blank event) going on campus?”
Oh, we have something like that? That’s news to me too.
More obscure questions:
“I heard you are selling fleet vehicles. Where do I find more about this?”
This one staggered me for one moment.
It wasn’t just the question. It was because the guy on the other end had an Australian accent. And it wasn’t just the accent. It made me think a guy from Australia was trying to buy used vehicles from this little old university that’s located in the middle of nowhere. He was actually from a large city in the next state.
Then I had to search for that obscure little department which deals with state vehicles. They were located as a sub-department under Campus Services. Oh, gee, I knew that.
Issuing Citations (or Tickets)
A citation is issued using a handheld computer. The ticket is printed, and slipped into an envelope. The citation will include details about late fees. It will also explain the appeals process. The envelope has a pre-written address (to Parking Services) but does not include postage.
How the Position of Campus Shuttle Driver Came to be
The Campus Shuttle Driver is a new position.
Let me tell you the story of how it came to be.
Just a quick note: the university is located next to a river.
And now, I will continue with the story.
In order to meet their ambitious plans for expanding the campus, the university decided that a new academic building is needed. And not just any old academic building, a LEED certified academic building.
A site was selected, and the old building on that site was demolished. The building housed Facilities Management. This presented a problem. Now that the office space for Facilities Management was taken away, where should they move the department to? They moved it to an abandoned building across the river. To the boonies. A building that was essential for campus activity. To the boonies. Now if an employee forgets the keys to an office, finds themselves locked out of a building, well, gee, someone will need to trot all the way across the bridge and take care of the problem.
Naturally, this raised a lot of protest. WALK ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE BRIDGE? Nope. Not doing that.
In order to calm the angry crowds, the university decided to introduce a shuttle that commuted between this new building and the rest of the campus community.
So, what department would be the most suitable for this task?
Parking.
No, we deal with stationary vehicles, not moving vehicles.
And, yet, you deal with vehicles. The objects of your primary concern have four wheels, four doors, and a steering wheel. They may be stationary for the moment, but they have the ability to move at some point. Do you see some correlation between this and the shuttle?Therefore, the responsibility of the shuttle, including customer complaints regarding it, will be assigned to you.
Let me tell you the story of how it came to be.
Just a quick note: the university is located next to a river.
And now, I will continue with the story.
In order to meet their ambitious plans for expanding the campus, the university decided that a new academic building is needed. And not just any old academic building, a LEED certified academic building.
A site was selected, and the old building on that site was demolished. The building housed Facilities Management. This presented a problem. Now that the office space for Facilities Management was taken away, where should they move the department to? They moved it to an abandoned building across the river. To the boonies. A building that was essential for campus activity. To the boonies. Now if an employee forgets the keys to an office, finds themselves locked out of a building, well, gee, someone will need to trot all the way across the bridge and take care of the problem.
Naturally, this raised a lot of protest. WALK ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE BRIDGE? Nope. Not doing that.
In order to calm the angry crowds, the university decided to introduce a shuttle that commuted between this new building and the rest of the campus community.
So, what department would be the most suitable for this task?
Parking.
No, we deal with stationary vehicles, not moving vehicles.
And, yet, you deal with vehicles. The objects of your primary concern have four wheels, four doors, and a steering wheel. They may be stationary for the moment, but they have the ability to move at some point. Do you see some correlation between this and the shuttle?Therefore, the responsibility of the shuttle, including customer complaints regarding it, will be assigned to you.
A Description of the Employees
On the management side:
Parking Director
Parking Manager
Supervisor
Student Assistants
On the enforcement side:
Two Parking Officers
Campus Shuttle Driver
Student Officers
A Limited Time Employee (LTE) may be hired at busy points during a semester. Usually for the first few weeks of each semester.
And that is how they will be referred to.
A Description of the Setting
The office is located in a building at the very edge of the campus. Often times when customers call to buy a permit, they complain about the distance, especially if their office is located on the other side of campus. If the weather is warm and sunny, we offer no sympathy. If there is a blizzard in the making, yes, we pause a moment to express our condolences and lament about the inconveniences this may have caused them. “But, really,” we say. “It’s not our fault. We were actually asked to move from the main administrative building so that another lesser known office could obtain the premises.” That was more than ten years ago. To date, no office has moved into the vacated premises.
The building has a very unusual name. I never gave it much thought until a customer wanted to know where the name originated from. I had no idea. And neither does anyone else.
Parking Services is located in the basement. This clearly shows that people hate us! But it’s alright. We are never tempted by the beckoning sunshine during summer days.
Next to our office is Dining Services. Past Dining Services, a set of double doors lead to the kitchens. During the eight hour day, we are often assaulted with the smell of good food. Especially baked bread. And brownies.
The office is divided into two sections, parking management and parking enforcement. The two sections are separated by a common area. The common area consists of a couch, love seat, and a coffee table. The temperature inside the management office is akin to Siberia. The temperature inside the enforcement office is similar to a humid Sahara. We know we will never understand the mechanism behind temperature control, especially not in this building.
The building has a very unusual name. I never gave it much thought until a customer wanted to know where the name originated from. I had no idea. And neither does anyone else.
Parking Services is located in the basement. This clearly shows that people hate us! But it’s alright. We are never tempted by the beckoning sunshine during summer days.
Next to our office is Dining Services. Past Dining Services, a set of double doors lead to the kitchens. During the eight hour day, we are often assaulted with the smell of good food. Especially baked bread. And brownies.
The office is divided into two sections, parking management and parking enforcement. The two sections are separated by a common area. The common area consists of a couch, love seat, and a coffee table. The temperature inside the management office is akin to Siberia. The temperature inside the enforcement office is similar to a humid Sahara. We know we will never understand the mechanism behind temperature control, especially not in this building.
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